"Well, what about the extreme sexism in naming species based on the appearance of male birds? Black-throated Blue Warbler, and many others. No female should allow those names to stand! Just think about how many more women who will become interested in birds if we eliminate those sexist names."
― Lab Gurl
One fine morning in October, 2024 ...
Birder 1: “Did you see that? I think that was a Nelson's Sparrow!”
Birder 2: “There's no such thing.”
B1: “Oh, I forget the 'woke' name ― what is it again?”
B2: “Pumpkin Spice Bunting, you racist!”
B1: “Racist? That's hardly fair. How about if I call it 'Ammospiza nelsoni?”
B2: “What's that, Latin? Don't use that antiquated colonizing language around me, please.”
B1: “Well, isn't that its legitimate scientific name?”
B2: “It is, but we're hoping that minorities won't notice those Latinized slaver names.”
B1: “Nelsoni nelsoni nelsoni!”
B2: “Stop it, or I'm leaving!”
B1: “Oh, where are you going?”
B2: “I think I'll scope the lake for scoters from James Madison Park.”
B1: “Madison owned slaves.”
B2: “Crap.”
B1: “Hey, will you give me your Swarovski bins?”
B2: “Why would I do that?”
B1: “Members of the Swarovski family were early, active and enthusiastic champions of National Socialism.”
B2: “What!? Crap.”
Nelson's Sparrow © 2023 Mike McDowell