"The tide seldom shifts in favor of a selfish individual."
― Carlos Wallace
Just like when my brother died back in 1997, Kathy (my younger sister) is getting all bent out of shape over not being my Mom's POA (power of attorney). It's a shame that she's once again showing her ugliness when a family member is dying. My older sister, Sharon, is my Mom's POA, and rightfully so.
It all came to a head when Kathy read this in my mom's POA document:
It states:
"Intent to Return Home. It is my intent to return home if I were ever to reside in a nursing home. Accordingly, I empower my Attorney to convey that intention to any and all persons."
Kathy believes this means that my mom wishes to die at home, but that's not the case at all. The "Intent to Return Home" clause is a standard legal provision stating that if the signer ever moves into a nursing home, it's their intention to eventually return to their primary residence, while empowering their designated attorney-in-fact to communicate that intention to others. Primarily utilized for Medicaid asset protection, this formal declaration helps shield the home from being immediately counted against asset limits or forced into a sale to cover long-term care costs.
In private messages to me, Kathy has made it clear how much she loathes that our Mom chose Sharon to be POA and used the clause above (and other things) to try to sway her to give it up to her.
When texting Sharon, she's sounds so sweet and helpful, but she's a total witch with ulterior motives:
Such a two-faced diabolical manipulator.
As you can imagine, Sharon is under an extreme amount of pressure and stress right now. A few nights ago, I called her to say that, under no circumstances, should she relinquish POA to Kathy—and Sharon's husband, Mel, totally agrees that it would be an absolute shit-show. Who cares if Mel is helping his wife? Anyway, Kathy has barely has enough brains to hold down a job, having been fired from her last half-dozen or so. At her last job at Orthopaedic Associates of Wausau, she was terminated for making too many mistakes and being a pain in the ass to work with.
Nobody plays the victim card better than Kathy. It's a predictable pattern we have seen before—whenever she doesn't get her way or gets called out on her manipulation, she immediately rewrites history to make herself the target. Rather than taking accountability for stoking conflict while our Mom is in palliative care, she puts on a public show of grief and feigned innocence.
Again, what a shame. But it's truly a relief that our Mom doesn't know any of this is going on.